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January 9, 2011 changed our lives. We were well aware that our son’s home life was becoming more and more dangerous. He was desperately seeking an answer that would allow him to safely remove the children, and himself, from the situation. On January 9^th, after several visits from the police, his wife was arrested for Domestic Violence.

She was found not guilty of these charges; not because of the police testimony or the pictures of the scratches and bruises. There is a stigma that goes with these cases. Those on the outside can’t figure out how this happens; why don’t the men fight back? Why? Because the wise ones know – they risk being arrested.

There is another consequence caused by this stigma; there are very few services to assist men in this situation. The only option for our son was to head to the men’s homeless shelter, which doesn’t allow children. I’ve seen the struggle that it takes for a man to balance creating a new and safe place for his kids while trying to shuffle through the rubble left from a destructive relationship.

A small circle of friends have been talking about doing our part to change this stigma. We have the desire to start a non-profit to assist such men and their kids. Working closely with the police, social services and victim assistance, we would focus on the financial needs of those first 100 days.  What does that look like?

• Covering the hotel bill for a week so dad can get his kids out.

• Wal-Mart gift cards to buy formula, diapers, clothes and food.

• Covering babysitter costs so dad can begin counseling.

• Local restaurant gift cards to help provide meals.

•  It may even be a security deposit and first month’s rent for a new apartment.

Starting a non-profit is easy, maintaining it is difficult. BUT if it’s right, it’s right. If it’s right, it’s worth struggling to make it happen.

• If this strikes a chord with you, we’re open for donations to move us forward.

• If you’re a dad in this situation, seek outside help and begin the process of getting your kids free.

• If you’re watching a similar situation from the outside, start making some calls…if it’s right, it’s right!

We know what it will take – we’ve done our homework.  In July, we’ll be making our decision whether we feel this is the right time and if we are able to take on the additional responsibility.  If it’s right, it will start with a handful of people desiring to build an army; an army of people changing children’s lives, one family at a time.

This has been an odd week. On Monday I mailed my last unemployment form; tomorrow the final check will be arriving.  Eighteen months ago I left work, never to return due to my new allergy.  Since that day, I have found myself with a lot of time. Hopefully I have used that time wisely. We’ll see just how wise in a few weeks, I will be attending my first event in hopes of connecting with authors.

As far as the job market, well there are a few strikes against me. We live in California. We live in a town of 8,000; there are more people living and working at 900 N Michigan Ave, my last Chicago job – not a ton of opportunity. Oh yes, there is that coffee thing….I’ve yet to find a place that doesn’t serve, brew or allow consumption of coffee.

So this is what I would consider as the unknown. I used to hate the unknown – scared the crap out of me.  I’m not sure why I have this deep sense of excitement. Can’t explain why I feel like a kid getting ready for a new adventure.  Perhaps these past eighteen months has allowed me to do more than create a business plan for a publishing company. Perhaps I’ve learn to live for today and trust that God has tomorrow under control. If that’s the case, than this last eighteen months was the bestest school I ever attended.

Somehow my email address found it’s way on an email list of a woman who decided to start a writers group. If I do the 6 degrees of separation thing, I can connect us  – but it’s a big stretch. Anyway, I signed up and attended the first gathering. This in and of itself is quite impressive,  I was going to spend the evening with 11 women I had never met.  The all women and all strangers would have stopped me in my tracks a short while ago.

We went around the room sharing a bit about ourselves as it related to our writing. As luck would have it, I went last! As I listened to each women I heard things like, fear, I’ve always wanted to, I don’t take the time, I had this idea for 15 years…. After each one shared I wanted to give them a hug and say “I’ve been there!” It’s a humbling experience to come face to face with images of who you once were. I must admit I chuckled a few times today as I thought about it. You see, I feel as if I’ve watched the movie! I know how it ends!! It’s great and I can’t wait to watch this group of women cross the finish line!!!

Stories of King Nebuchadnezzar are found in the Old Testament. He was the king that tossed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the fiery furnace. They didn’t burn and he proclaimed that their God (not his) was the true God. Sometime later he had a dream that warned him of coming events. If his life didn’t change, old King Nebie was going to experience what I call Field Life.

Things didn’t change and because of Nebie’s arrogance, he became animal like and spent 7 periods (days, weeks, months, years – yet to be decided) living out in the field like some sort of beast. This field just happened to be next to the palace so all his servants could see. After this time of Field Life, King Nebie made a profound statement:

Now, I( Nebuchadnezzar) praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, Whose works are all true and   Whose ways are just and Who can humble those who walk with arrogance.

Can humble those who walk with arrogance. I had to look up the word: arrogant  (ˈærəɡənt)   — adj having or showing an exaggerated opinion of one’s own importance, merit, ability, etc; conceited; overbearingly proud.

Arrogant people will experience Field Life. It’s a law of nature. Arrogance will not go unnoticed.

What does that mean for me? Don’t be arrogant!

What does that mean to those arrogant people around me? I don’t have to worry, it’s all taken care of…sometime –  some where they will find themselves living in the field.

Can you notice when someone is experiencing Field Life?  If you look closely you can.

Should I try to rescue them? NO!

Field Life has a purpose, you can’t stop it . . . but you can prevent it!

Recently, Suze Orman, the blond financial wizard (classy description isn’t it), has been speaking about the new American Dream. The concept intrigues me, in fact it excites me. According to Suze, the old American Dream of more, more, more is dead.  If you don’t agree, just look at the corpses lying around your neighborhood.

There is a statement that Suze has introduced into our vocabulary, “Stand in your own Truth”; simple interpretation, accept your reality. If you can’t afford to buy a home, that’s OK. That is your truth and you need to own it or stand in it. If you have huge debt, own it and work to get out of it.

I believe that “Stand in your Truth” relates to every part of our lives. We spend so much time trying to change our situations, cover up faults, attempt to hide our secrets, looking for the great escape. There is a huge freedom that comes with Standing in our Truth. Perhaps it comes from the honesty it takes. Perhaps it comes from not hiding in the closet.

Stand in your Truth is accepting the realities of your life.  It doesn’t require others to stand with you. It doesn’t require anyone to pass judgment. It doesn’t require approval.  Why? Because it’s yours. Good or bad, beautiful or ugly, stinky or fragrant, it’s yours. Until you stand in it, you will never be able to change it.