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Anger to Joy

I am ready
An arsenal of words
Organized for impact

I am right!
You are wrong!
I’m will show you the
 errors of your way.

Then…
The sun rose over the hills
The dainty green leaves
Of the Pepper Tree
Danced in its warmth.

Birds flew over
Delighting in all the
Night’s rain had uncovered.

Why do I need you to
Think - my way
Believe - my way
Live - my way

No other creature does this
They just live -

True, they may eat you
And this is always an option

But in the light of day
The beauty of the red flower
The boldness of the cactus
And the gentleness of the sage

My duty of righteousness
Turned to gratitude 
My arsenal of words
Turned to song
And my anger
To joy
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This Moment

It's 5 AM and 75 degrees
The stars sparkle across the sky 
Shining just enough light 
To make the palm trees look scary. 

There's a gentle breeze,
but it does not cool.
In the distance, 
windows begin to illuminate
as wake over-takes sleep 

There’s a sound of nature
In the distance,
the four-legged type, 
and the domestic creatures take note. 

What will this day hold? 
Work and school 
Family and kids 

Life will take hold soon
and if we aren't careful, 
May consumer us. 

My friends grandfather may take his last breath today, 
Yet, there will be others who will take their first. 

A few more windows illuminate
and a few less stars are visible.

In a short while, 
the sun will begin to glow 
from behind the hills
Its’ blaze will extinguish the stars.
 
But at this moment,
it's 75 degrees -
and the stars sparkle across the sky.
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Voices

The voices of disapproval
Echo in my head.

Your voice is there
Telling me I’m not good enough
That’s it’s my fault
That I’m the one to blame.

The sound plays in a loop
Like a broken record
But there’s no one 
To remove the needle.

The voices of shame
Smother me
Preventing me
from stepping out.

The voices of disappointment
Stop me from trying,
They talk about what 
Should have -
Could have -
But didn’t.

Though not audible to others
They are deafening to me.

I fight them
Try to ignore them
Put them in a box 
And hide them.

But they ooze out
Like a warm, sticky glue
Clogging up my brain space.

I don’t know why I listen
I don’t know why I care

Yet, I wait for someone to 
Pick up the needle 
And bring it to an end.

There is another voice in my head
It’s always been there
It’s quiet and gentle
Easily drowned out

Rarely does it shout
Never does it interrupt
I can only hear it 
In the quiet.

Today, as I sat identifying 
All the other voices
And contemplating my demise
I found a piece of quiet.

Today, my other voice
Gently instructed,
“Pick up the needle 
And get on with it!”
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Straight from the Pit

Jealousy, Hatred, 
Envy, and Insecurity
These evil fellows
I’ve come to know.
 
They slither and scheme
Watching and waiting,
Sensing the second 
My guard is down.

Their attack is sharp 
And so deep
It stings and bites 
Exposing my scars.

They blindside 
And de-rail
At moments 
Most vulnerable.

They’re disguises 
Are cleaver
Some days looking 
A little to much like
Me and …you.

They’re nasty basters
Born in the pit of hell
Claiming all 
As their victims.

They’re weapons
Are words
For they know 
The pain they inflict
To strangle, suffocate, 
trap, and confine.

I’ve found 
But one escape
From these evil gents,
To dive deep into 
My well of love, 
And stay immersed 
Till every crack, crevice, 
And broken part filled.

Their attack is quick
My response quicker.
Intended to wound
I to heal.
They desire engagement
I desire peace -

Which comes 
when I quietly … walk away!
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Liquified

The ground below me has liquified,
And the path no longer exists.
The voices of caution behind me,
warn of danger outsides of this.

Through the mist and wind I sense him
Standing just out of reach
But the ground below me has liquified
And a clear path does not exist.

He could have calmed the surf
He could have stopped the rain
He could have warned me ahead of time,
But that is not his game.

I’m stepping out of this sinking boat 
and leaving familiar behind.
The ground beneath me has liquified
And there are no footings close by.

I feel the warmth of his hand on mine
And my fears melt away.
He greets me with a gentle smile
That tells me it’s Okay.

The safety of my boat is gone
Along with the voices of danger
The wind, the rain, the raging surf
Threaten to take us under.

But He and I walk step in step and
I squeeze his hand a little tighter
The ground beneath me has liquified
And I am walking on water.
Rules for Walking on Water
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I’m Changing Our Rhythm

Our rhythm of life 
has been a syncopated mess

Stealing beats and melodies
That didn’t belong to us.

Keeping up with time changes,
Incidentals, and accidentals.

Trying our best at improve
But the riffs and jams were always just a little off.

Our rhythm belong to no one but us.
So let’s stop playing composed tunes
And craft our own song.

In our new rhythm, I’ll keep the beat
And you bring the melodies.

It will be a rhythm that allows us to breath, to create,
And best of all too dance.
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