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This little company I’ve created, is forcing me to face something I never thought was achievable. Perfection. I am in no way a perfectionist. In fact, I assume since people are involved with everything we do in life, there will always be a flaw. The fact that it is impossible to eliminate human error has…
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There are times in life when we feel as if we are being tested. It happens in our jobs, our family, in our relationships and in life. It is referred to as being tried, tested, put through the fire. It is those times when life doesn’t seem to be going your way; when you have…
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A man returned home after a day of golf, looking a bit more tired than usual, his wife ask how the day went. He replied, “It was the longest game ever. Harry had a heart attack on the third hole and for the remained of the game it was, hit the ball drag Harry.” I’m…
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I feel as if for the last few months I’ve been driving on a two lane road that’s under construction. There hasn’t been any cross streets allowing me to turn off. The shoulder is under construction as well, so don’t think for one moment about going around. There are dump trucks, bulldozers, other big pieces…
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I may not make many friends with this one, especially girlfriends, but there are those times you have to call it as you see it. It is becoming more and more apparent to me the amount of influence and thus control women really do have. We can manipulate almost any situation. Don’t think for a…
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These past few months my life has been filled with examples of letting go. Letting go of children as they establish their own families. Letting go of material belongings, some that seem to have been unfairly taken away. Letting go of old habits that aren’t so healthy in the second half of life. Letting go…
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My mother, who resides in Wisconsin and I flew to Charlotte, North Carolina to begin the process of downsizing my aunts belongings. We are a small family; I only have one aunt on my mother’s side and only one cousin. Mom and I had talked for years about our desire to be a part of…
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THE SONG Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, Men were deceivers ever, One foot in sea and one on shore, To one thing constant never: And be you blithe and bonny, Converting all your sounds of woe Into Hey nonny, nonny. Sing no more ditties, sing no moe, Of dumps so dull and heavy;…
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There is nothing worthwhile for a man but to eat and drink and afford himself enjoyment with his means. And even that, I noted, comes from God. To the man, namely, who pleases Him, He has given the wisdom and shrewdness to enjoy himself; and to him who displeases, He has given the urge to…
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I heard myself say, “I want God for you.” Then I stopped and asked myself what does that mean. It means I want whatever God has in store for you. I want Him to be in total control of your life. I want you to love, depend and trust Him. “I want God for you”…
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This thing called anger keeps crossing my path. I read a blog this morning where a woman talked about living with a very angry man. It should have been no surprise that after 2 years of dating a very angry man he would become an angry live-in, but some people are just unable to connect…
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I’m greatly confused by those so called conservative, right wing and tea party-ers. At what point in time did the Constitution allowing for freedom of speech void the Godly principle of respecting authority? Why is it acceptable to speak out in anger and disrespect for our elected leaders? As I think of the Old Testament…
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I had the opportunity to spend a few days with co-workers as we participated in a team building retreat. We played games, made a human chain that had to move from one end of a log to the other without breaking the chain or falling off the log. In the afternoon we were taken out…
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A phone conversation with Chase, our 4 year old grandson… Hello. Hi. Who is this? This is Chase Hardwick Matthew. Well hello Chase Hardwick Matthew. Do you know what I did? What? I colored all over myself. You did? Mom took all my toys out of my room. She did? Do you know Goodwill? Yes……
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I have heard and have actually repeated the phrase ‘enjoy the journey’ hundreds, perhaps thousands of times. Typically enjoying the journey relates to the process it takes to achieve something tangible; a promotion, the end of a trip, the fulfillment of a life’s dream. We, however, are all on a journey every day. It is…
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It was 6:30 am and I had just tuned into the weather channel. Austyn, Brian and Liam along with Brian’s sister Amy were flying into LA and driving up for 5 days. Jeff and I had been checking the weather channel for up-dates. Driving in the rain in California is almost as bad as driving…
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I lay in bed this morning glancing at the clock, 5:15. Fully rested, I tried to recall what time it was that I had fallen asleep. Not sure why, but for some odd reason it is important to my brain to know how many hours of sleep I have achieved. It seems to be an…
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There are rare times in our lives that one stumbles upon a new passion. In 1988 I was hired as the general manager for a cafe’. It was my first experience in the coffee world. I was introduced to the world of espresso. The large brass espresso machine caught everyone’s attention. The brass eagle that…
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Yet another phone conversation with Chase. This time I was only listening to Jeff’s side of the conversation… There are what outside your window? Werewolves? There are 12 werewolves out there. Did Raun see them? He did. No they won’t hurt you. Werewolves aren’t real, they are only in movies. No, I don’t think they…
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I do believe I have figured out the secret to panty lines…buy underwear that fits!
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We Skyped Raun frequently. During one of those calls Jeff scolded the dog by saying “get the hell out of here”. Again forgetting his audience I hurried he and the dog out of the room and closed the door. Making my way back to the computer I heard Chase ask where Grandpa Jeff was. “He…
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We had other visitor for New Years, Brain and Austyn flew in to spend a few days with us. This was not just a visit, they had hoped Brian would find a job here and they would be able to move before the baby come. It was always Austyn’s desire to live close to us…
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There are about 6 plastic crates in the garage that house favorite items from Raun and Austyn’s childhood. In one of those crates are Raun’s legos and transformers. Transformers from 25 years ago are much different than the one you buy now. They would have to be to last 25 years. Raun and Chase made…
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Going to the beach during Christmas vacation is part of the fun of living in California. We made it to the beach every day. Sage said we live in an upside down world. She also said she wanted to come back in the summer when it would be winter here, that’s what happens in an…
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Jeff and I were planning on spending Christmas alone. Travel for any of us was just too costly to fit it in this year. Austyn and Brian would in Colorado for Christmas and spend New Years in California, but Christmas would has Thanksgiving had been – just the two of us. About a week before…
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SKYPE What is this thing called skype, I wanted to know. There must be a way to talk on the computer and see the person you are talking to. We bought a camera and downloaded the program and made our first call. There on the computer screen was Raun. We were sitting in California talking…
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We woke early on Thursday, October 30. Made our way downstairs to the breakfast room to load up on pancakes, oatmeal and everything else that was on the buffet. After breakfast we granted the kids their wish to go swimming. The day was unfolding and instructions were given out. Jeff was with Raun most of…
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We had told family that we would be eating at Buca di Beppo’s for dinner and if anyone was available they should join us. We bundled the kids up and headed out of the hotel exploring the streets of Chicago. Buca’s is a great family style Italian restaurant full of pictures and statues. It was…
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October 30th was the date of wedding number 2. Jeff and I flew into Midway Airport. We had not intended to be back so quickly. It was only three months ago that we had packed up and headed west. Chicago was welcoming; however in the short time we had spent on the coast we were…
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Jeff had been very clear with both kids to warn against having children too quickly. He had told both Raun and Austyn to wait a few years. Take time to get a little settled. Austyn had said for months that she was afraid that she would get pregnant right away, this was not something they…
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Rumor had it that a ring had been purchased. Not just any ring, one that would last a life time. Raun was asking Pam to marry him and yes there would be one more wedding these years. The date was selected and a beautiful venue was chosen in Lincoln Park, a short distance from where…
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We had been in our new home about three weeks before we began to venture out. Less than a half of a mile in front of our home lies the Pacific Ocean. Less than three miles behind our home are the vineyards and they are beautiful. Most of them have a tasting room that for…
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My total experience of being on the west coast consist of 3 days 28 years ago. My time on the coast has been primarily the Gulf off the Florida coast. I had expected warm sand, warm days, blue skies and beautiful sunsets. August in Pismo Beach was not what I had anticipated. There is this…
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We settled into our hotel room in Pismo Beach. Pismo Beach is a classic beach town. Population 8,000 of which 40% are vacation homes and those people are not there year round. During the summer and on weekends the town is hopping with surfers and people from the valley coming to the coast to find…
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We did have a deadline for our arrival in California. The townhouse we were planning on purchasing was scheduled to close the day after we arrived. There had been some bumps along the road with the financing of this unit. Resolutions were always found but it wasn’t a smooth process. The route we chose to…
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Jeff and I had planned a 4 day drive from Chicago to San Luis Obispo, CA. Traveling with a dog, we figured we would do well to drive 8 – 10 hours a day. Neither of us had ever traveled such a distance with an animal, so finding and staying in pet friendly hotels was…
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Over the past few months we have had glimpses into the minds of Pam’s three children. Brief phone conversation, story’s relayed to us by Raun and the few face to face interactions we have been lucky enough to participate in. Chase, who was two at the time loves chicken. As they were praying before the…
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Our close friends Ray and Margie had offered they home to us on our last weekend in town. We arrived Saturday afternoon, tired and emotional. That evening we met up with a small circle of old friends. Sunday was a quiet morning which lead into a quiet day. Monday morning we made our way to…
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Jeff and I have moved more times than I want to count. We have always done it ourselves. the packing, the loading, the unloading. This move would be different. We only lived in 900 square feet, so when we were giving an estimate on the cost of the move we could afford for them to…
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There were three receptions planned after the wedding. We made our way to Wisconsin for a cookout the beginning of the July 4th weekend. Mostly family attended this one. It was a great time. The second was held in Chicago. Our Jakes reception was perfect. Friends drove in from the suburbs for a tastes city…
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Sometime in the afternoon on Tuesday, June 24th had ended. As planned we were left on the island for three more days to recover. The beach, good food, more beach and naps. We spent time with family member who had also planned to spend the week. Taking walks, searching for sand dollars, sitting on our…
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Tuesday arrived. Breakfast at our house for anyone that wanted to join us. Renee was off to Walmart for those last minute purchases. Decorations were taking to the house where the reception was being held. Of coarse there was time built in to be at the beach. As Jeff and I left the decorated reception…
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With the wedding scheduled for sometime in the afternoon on Tuesday, we had given ourselves Sunday and Monday to play and prepare. Most of the family were arriving Sunday. After a day at the beach, we had invited everyone to our home for dinner and a movie. Buffalo Wings are one of our favorite things…
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Brian and Austyn returned to Chicago on Thursday. We were to pick up the rental van Friday at noon, load and take off for what we had hoped was a 16 hour road trip to Holden Beach NC. The home we had rented were fully furnished but there was plenty of extra cooking equipment and…
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My Mom and I arrived in Chicago, made our way to the El. We boarded the Orange Line and settle in for our ride to the north side. We were rested but still tired. Mom would be with us for two nights before she got back on the train for home. It was Saturday afternoon,…
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Austyn was settled in her new little place. She and Brian were experiencing living in the same city for more than a weekend. I had made plane reservation for my mother and I to fly out in order to finish up the last of the reception invites as well as taking care of a few…
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For Memorial Day Weekend Jeff and I headed back to Wisconsin, hoping to spend as much time with Raun, Pam and the kids as possible before we moved. This was really the first time Jeff had spent time with the kids and they were getting to know each other. Jeff had a great sense of…
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Brian graduated on Thursday. Immediately after he and Austyn began their trip to IL. Austyn was graduating on Saturday with an Associate degree in Applied Sciences, Digital Photography. She had been asked to be one of two student speakers for the ceremony. Jeff and I had both cried through her 8th grade graduation and…
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After driving all night Brian and his friend Evan arrived early Friday morning. On Saturday we would load up Austyn and they would head back to Colorado. Brian and Austyn had known each other for a year and a half but had not spent much more than a weekend together. They needed to be in…
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My Mother was turning 80 and at the last minute had planned a weekend in Chicago with her only sister Meryle, myself and my two sisters. My Mom and her sister arrived at Union Station on Amtrack Friday night. It would be the first time my aunt had come to visit us in the city.…
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We had planned to spend Easter weekend in Wisconsin. Knowing we would be on our way to California soon we wanted to spend as much time with Raun, Pam and the kids as possible. The car was rented and we loaded up on Friday morning. Raun and Pam were on their way back from the…
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They say there are four major stress factors in our lives; marriage, new job, moving and death. Up to this point we had three of the four. Austyn took care of the marriage part. The new job had already started for Jeff and moving was inevitable. As a fellow employee said so reassuringly; “Knock on…
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During my one week in San Luis Obispo, we had found a development that we felt very comfortable in. The development would be under construction for the next year which gave us the freedom to buy when we were ready. It seemed very easy. We liked the units and could see ourselves living there for…
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Our worst week of the year flowed into the following week. The tile installer was kind enough to work on Sunday, returning on Monday to make sure all was well. That afternoon Jeff and Austyn were the first home. By the time I arrived home most of the condo was put back together. No more…
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Saturday morning arrived. Today we did have a time line. We were picking up a cargo van at 9: 00am and it needed to be back by 1:00pm. The installer would be here around 8:30 which meant that one of us would stay home and two would head to the storage until. While Jeff ran…
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I stood in the kitchen this morning, Sunday March 9, 2008 and declared “This was and will be the worst week of this year!” It was a way of acknowledging the stress of the past week and promising that going forward the stressful weeks were over. It started the Sunday prior. Raun drove down from…
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In my adult years I have always been intrigued by the “New Age” mentality. I say in my adult years because I clearly remember in my teen years being taught that the New Age Movement was satanic. Meditation was evil and if we allowed our minds to be quiet the devil would be able to…
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February is the birthday month in our family. Every birthday has a tendency to force us to stop and reflect. Austyn’s is not different. If I had been able to control nature Raun and Austyn would have been 3 years apart but as it went there four and a half years between them. I struggled…
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I cried tonight at Jake’s. Jake’s, how does one describe it? Up until the 1950s it was the corner candy store, one of those great corner locations that appear to be built in a triangle. During the 50’s the candy went away and the alcohol arrived becoming the corner bar. In fall of 2006 Jake’s…
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I am an organizer. Give me a problem and I can produce a plan that will cover all the bases. It’s how may brain works. I have apparently passed some of that on to Austyn as well. There is great fun is solving problems, putting plans together and watching them be executed. If not careful…
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Sunday began just as Saturday had; maps, coffee and the Sweeney Todd soundtrack playing in the car. We made our way further north to see the elephant seals. They come up on the beach to sun themselves. It was a sight to behold; one ton seals laying ten feet below you, dead to the world.…
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That evening we had dinner at the home of Jeff’s new employer and his wife. We would spend the next two days driving from town to town in hopes that we would find some place that we could call home. We set out Saturday morning with maps, the plan was to start at the south…
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I found the car, found the directions and backed out of the parking space. I made my way out of the parking lot, turned left on Broad in search of Tank Farm Road, interesting name for a road as well as an interesting road; a few farms, a trailer park, a few warehouses, the north…
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I woke early the next morning. Finished packing, made sure Austyn was feeling better and headed out the door. At the corner I grabbed a taxi, which took me to the Blue Line that took me right into O’Hare. Owning a car is not an essential part of life in the city. The business of…
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The second full week of January would be orientation for Jeff at the new office in San Luis Obispo. He flew out on Sunday with 4 fellow employees. Chicago to San Luis is not an easy flight. Total travel time adds up to around 7 hours. I waited for the first phone call relaying first…
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As I was cleaning the kitchen I was rethinking our conversation. Imagining Raun with three children, realizing that if this relationship grew Jeff and I would be grandparents. This year was already quit full; why not add another major change, instant grandparents. Then it hit me, Jeff a grandpa. I began to laugh. Jeff and…
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Raun had been spending more time in Wisconsin. Driving up on the weekends and since his winter break started Thanksgiving and ended after New Years he had time. Raun enjoyed going to visit his grandparents and get in a little fishing. For the last five years he had truly learned to enjoy the quietness of…
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Austyn had flown to Colorado prior to Christmas to spend time with Brian and his family. They flew into Chicago on Christmas day. Raun had spent a few days in Wisconsin visiting Pam, a friend from high school that he had reconnected with but was home Christmas Eve. Most of our family is still in…
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The following week Jeff was actually not at the office, he was opening a store so had very little face to face interaction with the leaders of the new company. He was dependent on phone conversations with co-workers filling him in on their take of the situation. Reviews were mixed. Jeff flew home on Thursday…
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Several years ago as our children were beginning serious relationships, I had a dream. I wanted to set the third week in October as our family vacation. Jeff and I would make the arrangements, of course it should be on a beach. The kids and their families would come for as many days as possible.…
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Austyn’s wedding party consisted of two, a boy and a girl. Her only bother and sibling Raun would be her bridesmaid and his girlfriend of 3 years would be her maid of honor. Raun’s girlfriend and Austyn had become very close. They were sisters already. They shared the same creativity, ideas and even thoughts. When…
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Austyn is very creative. She also is very sensitive and the two were at war in her mind. She was having a very difficult time with all the questions and suggestions she was being inundated with. She felt some sort of responsibility to listen to everyone and felt helpless when it came to thanking them…
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Tuesday July 8, 2008 It’s an on going contest in our family to see who will have the biggest paragraph in Mom’s Christmas letter. The good, the bad, the traumatic will somewhere along the line get measured to all the other events that have occurred. The biggest, the worst, the most fun, it’s inevitable that…