Author: jeanniebruenning_s4d8jy
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There’s ayellow linein the centerof the roadcalled Life. Those whowalk it are –…Normal. We put one footin front of the other,and like a kidon a balance beamwith arms out stretched,we spendevery minuteof every daywalking the line. We act the partPractice our scripts,Choreograph each step.Analyze every performance,Longing to fit in,Pretending to belong. After-all,we just wantto be…NormalNeurotypicalA…
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Life’s a banquetAnd most pour soulsAre starving to death. It’s a lineFrom the productionOf Auntie Mame. The real line is:Life’s a banquetAnd most SOB’sAre starving to death. But since it’s soClose to the holidaysI thought I should beMore reserved. I have my own versionOf this line:Life’s a borgassmord – Yes, you read me right.Borgassmord is…
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I had a scorpionunder my pillow.Sounds like a greatMetaphor for life,Except for the fact that –I had a scorpionUnder my pillow. He seemed to arriveduring the night.I saw him but in thedarkness before dawnI didn’t know what he was. The imageStuck with me,And later that dayI checked to seeif he was there. He was andHe…
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This is for all the women who are still too afraid to speak up… There are more of themThen we’d like.They are everywhere. The momentThey begin to speak,You wish you hadGotten that prescriptionfor Xanax filledin addition tothe Valium chaser. Typically maleThey hide behindTheir titles They suck the airout of a room.Always the experts,They talkoverunder andaround…
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About seven weeks ago,Sadie and Charlie led us to believethat there were crittersunder the hood of our lovely car. Critters there were –A family of miceBuilt a hotelInvited friends and family.Then opened a Restaurantthat served the delicacyOf what was our dream car. They never left.Where we wentThey went.Perhaps going on outingsWherever we were.New towns, new…
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Bubbling with joyand laughterSomeone said,“I think you’ve hadtoo much wine.” Oh honey,I thought,It’s not too much wineIt’s too many filtersAnd tonight I took them off! Stay in controlDon’t offendDon’t speakDon’t overpower It’s wearisome. Filters make us:ShrinkStupefyPretendTake the back seat. After a whileone forgets howto talk at all.Words stumble out,but evaporate intonothingness. Stay in controlDon’t offendDon’t…
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A life time agoWe got all dressed upAnd signed a document. Some call it a licenseBut in realityIts just insurance. Insurance for when thedouble Ds come calling. George Burn said,“50% of marriage ends in divorce…The rest end in death.” Death and Divorce,Those are the double Ds. That piece of paper,That license that makesThis union legal…
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The fog hides my sunrise,It’s mist consuming my blanket.The weight on my chestMatches that on my shoulders. So many disruptionsSo much pain-and I forget to be grateful. TrafficStore clerksFinancesSicknessUncertainty-and I forget to be grateful. His healthHer depressionTheir sadnessThe weight unbearable-and I forget to be grateful. Where is happiness?When did joy make an exit?Pain runs through…
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My heart is heavyMy heart is joyful.We’ve been here beforeLikely here again,And yet it isn’tAny easier. This one has beenWriting her own storySince the day sheWas born. She came too soon –25 weeks is not enough.“She’s a fighter,”Is what we heard.And a fighterShe is. She’s my Warrior Princess,Queen of the Pokemon.She has deep knowledgeOf the…
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Happy Nude Year!New Year?No.Nude Year! The year weexpose ourtrue selves,wartsbelly fatand all. The yearwe removepretenseshameblame. Fully embracingthe uswe werebornto be. The ones whoDanceSingLoveLaugh. In this Nude Yearwe leaveFearAnxietyMelancholyat the door. We don’tHide,Retreat,Disappearany more. Oh no –we areSeenHeardInvited We entera roomand it getsbrighter. We share ourJoyand othersListen In thisNude Yearwe wearour skincomfortably And oursoulsbegin tosee theworlddifferently.…
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Tonight I standOn holy ground. There isn’t a MosesOr a burning bush. There isn’t thunder rollingNor lightning strikes,The earth isn’t quacking. Sitting in front of meAre a handful of musiciansTalking about musicImagining new tunesAnd unsung lyrics Dreaming of creating somethingThat moves us all It’s holyBIG holyIt’s the holiest of holy The honesty blankets the roomThey…
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Witches come in twosThe good one andThe bad. Wonderland had aWhite Queen andThe Red one. Narnia also had two,But they were both bad. The most famous duoLived in The Land of OzWhere the Wicked WitchOf the West gets smashedBy the Good Witch of the North Two witchesA goodA badSo why is there onlyOne type of…
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You say brokenLike it’s a bad thing.All my favorite peopleAre broken. BrokennessAllows newnessIt’s when we areFree to make somethingDifferent of our lives. It’s where we findOur uniquenessAnd differentiateOurselves from the herd.To change directionAnd moveCloser to freedom. A seed breaksthrough the groundBut the groundDoesn’t cry“I’m broken!”Rather it offersSpace andNourishment for theBeauty that is to come. You…
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Wouldn’t that be wonderfulIf the New Year bought a new YOUYour friends and family would love it! A you who shows upA you who is engagedA you that cares more aboutWhat is going on in other peoples livesThan what is happening in your own. A you who arrives on timeAnd sometimes, leaves early.A you who…
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As the Christmas Carol says, …and the soul felt its worth.
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It’s too late, I heard her say And I felt my world Crumble a little It can’t be There’s time There has to be More time I’ve been waiting… I’ve been waiting… I heard myself say Waiting for what? Waiting on who? And how long has this been going on? All my life! My heart…
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I am ready An arsenal of words Organized for impact I am right! You are wrong! I’m will show you the errors of your way. Then… The sun rose over the hills The dainty green leaves Of the Pepper Tree Danced in its warmth. Birds flew over Delighting in all the Night’s rain had uncovered.…
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It’s 5 AM and 75 degrees The stars sparkle across the sky Shining just enough light To make the palm trees look scary. There’s a gentle breeze, but it does not cool. In the distance, windows begin to illuminate as wake over-takes sleep There’s a sound of nature In the distance, the four-legged type, and…
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The voices of disapproval Echo in my head. Your voice is there Telling me I’m not good enough That’s it’s my fault That I’m the one to blame. The sound plays in a loop Like a broken record But there’s no one To remove the needle. The voices of shame Smother me Preventing me from…
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Jealousy, Hatred, Envy, and Insecurity These evil fellows I’ve come to know. They slither and scheme Watching and waiting, Sensing the second My guard is down. Their attack is sharp And so deep It stings and bites Exposing my scars. They blindside And de-rail At moments Most vulnerable. They’re disguises Are cleaver Some days looking…
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The ground below me has liquified, And the path no longer exists. The voices of caution behind me, warn of danger outsides of this. Through the mist and wind I sense him Standing just out of reach But the ground below me has liquified And a clear path does not exist. He could have calmed…
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Our rhythm of life has been a syncopated mess Stealing beats and melodies That didn’t belong to us. Keeping up with time changes, Incidentals, and accidentals. Trying our best at improve But the riffs and jams were always just a little off. Our rhythm belong to no one but us. So let’s stop playing composed…
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The world wasn’t ready, but that didn’t stop you! Fifteen weeks early YOU made your entrance. Less than two pounds of humanity, you burst forth with ease, effortlessly entering the world. It didn’t take long for the ease to turn too complicated. But we heard them say, “She’s a fighter!” and that you are. Needles,…
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I stand in the doorway and listen. It’s a sound that is both familiar and foreign. We’ve been anticipating it’s arrival, but not with great expectation. In our world these events come with little guarantee. ~ The family of four around the corner, celebrate with great delight! Inviting the rest of us to join in…
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And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Genesis 3:11 In the beginning was a God, a man, and a woman. The two humans were secluded, protected, and cared for by their God. They had only to enjoy their lives. These three were in-sync. Best of all, Adam and Eve knew God’s voice,…
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Tonight I find myself the lowly farmer on the hill. I have the title because my youngest offspring loves to fill every crack and crevice of her life with things she can take care of. Couple this with her desire to travel and it is why – tonight, I find myself the lowly farmer on…
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For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 God has plans Somewhere along this journey called life, we learn to anticipate the bad. The phone rings un-expectantly and we answer, Everything OK? And…
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Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a person sows, this he will also reap. Galatians 6:7 Science refers to it as Cause and Effect; for every action there is a reaction. The entire universe operates on the Law of Sowing and Reaping. Agriculture is the best example. Even the financial world…
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A Simple Faith in a Complicated World “Faith is hard,” my friend said – and my heart broke. I don’t believe God intended for it to be difficult. I do believe we have made it so. Can faith really be simplified? Yes. The world is complicated and we’ve allowed our lives to be overly complicated,…
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A Simple Faith in a Complicated World “Faith is hard,” my friend said – and my heart broke. I don’t believe God intended for it to be difficult. I do believe we have made it so. Can faith really be simplified? Yes. Our world is complicated. We’ve allowed our lives to be overly complicated but…
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I turned 60 last month. I find this funny because my birthday was in February. I love birthdays, not for the gifts and celebrations, but for the milestones they represent. Afterall, I’ve worked my whole life to be this old…I’m going to enjoy it!! That has been my mantra – that is until I turned 60.…
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What’s the secret to a long marriage? Answer: There isn’t one. Marriage is an adventure. It has ups and downs. Good times and dark times. Ruth Graham, the wife of most holy Billy Graham, said she never considered divorce – murder on many occasions – but never divorce. Jeff and I have made it through…
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Here’s a glimpse into moments of real life when you’re generationally living… It’s Friday evening and Jeff is at church for the Good Friday service. I have just returned from the grocery store with food for Sunday’s dinner. I’m watching the clock because I’ve determined that I will sit down and watch the service live.…
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Living with a two-year-old is something you take for granted in your twenties and thirties. Having a two-year-old around in your late fifties brings new joys. Amelia was six months old when we moved on the hill. It was no surprise when one of her first words was, “Hi!” With six adults living here, there…
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“Those dirty democrats.” That’s what my mom used to say. She grew up in Chicago in the 30 and 40’s so she came to this conclusion honestly. When Jimmy Carter won, and mom found out that my dad had voted for him, she was out of commission for 3 days. Turns out, Jimmy Carter is…
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I had no idea that being a Carnivore was a thing unless you were a dinosaur or lion. But less than 4 months ago after being on a very balanced (protein, veggie, carb) meal plan I stepped off the scale and said, “I’ve got to get this under control or go see a doctor because…
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Even though I may roll my eyes when asked what growing up as a preachers kids was like, I am grateful for many aspects of it. Especially for the Bible stories I learned in Sunday school. One that keeps coming to mind recently is a story between an arrogant king and a rugged old man…
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If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. This verse is being tossed all over the place recently. So I thought it would be…
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We memorized this as kids, along with the Books of the Bible, and dozens of other verses. The 23rd Psalm is a multi-use scripture. It’s comforting in difficult times, encouraging in good times, and calming in fearful times. Recently I learned some facts about sheep that has brought new light to this old standard: Sheep facts…
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As a teen, my friends and I tubed down the Crystal River. It was a summertime favorite. We’d make the forty-five minute drive, park our cars in the gravel parking lot, pay our fee, get on a big green bus and be taken up the river. We excitedly exited the bus and made our way…
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I’ve had a ton of self-discovery these past few weeks. Thanks to a book titled Dream Big, I no longer feel like there’s something wrong with me cause I love being involved in a bunch of things at one time. Thanks to a small book study with five old friends, I feel more connected than…
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Forty years – how did we make it through 40 years? When I look at the number ten – looks like a very nice number, twenty looks a bit fanciful, thirty is whimsical, but forty looks solid. I googled the meaning of the number 40 – the number 40 generally symbolizes a period of testing,…
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Definition of Connectedness People with the StrengthsFinder theme of Connectedness believe that everything happens for a reason. They have the unique ability to ‘connect the dots’ between what is happening in the here and now with deep personal meaning. If you share the StrengthsFinder characters of Connectedness with me, you know how it can screw…
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I grew up in a world that was primarily black and white. It consisted of many lists of absolutes. There were wrong and rights, goods and bads, dos and don’ts. We lived by the absolutes and we judged other’s accordingly. As a young adult, the lines between what was once black and white began to…
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This past weekend I heard someone speak the mundane moments in life. In fact, Ben said that it is just possible that those mundane moments are holy moments. It was a thought that resinated with me. They were words that made the wells of my eyes fill… She stuck her head in the doorway and…
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Last week Jeff and I set up our home office. We’re still getting used to the fact that we work for the same company. Now we’re sitting next to each other at a white folding table which houses three monitors, and two computers. This luxurious office has a great view – from our bedroom window.…
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Today I was searching for information about the book Girl, Wash Your Face by a young woman named Rachel Hollis. This is a best-selling book which I’ve seen but know very little about. I found what I was looking for and read about this best-seller. In my search, I also found a blog that was warning against…
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Ahhh, it’s that time of year again. The time to look back over the last 12 months to figure out what went well, what changed, what blew-up, what blind sided me, and what I promised never, ever do again. 2020 – who’d have thought. As a high-schooler, the year 2020 was so far in the…
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Somehow our littlest one has turned one. She’s a socialite and her first word was “HI”. It’s no wonder, because every room she enters has someone new greeting her saying, “Hi, Amelia!” Since we moved into this multi-generational crazy world, I’ve found myself frequently saying, “Aye Yai Yai Yai Yai.” It’s fun to say and…
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We currently have thirteen pets on the hill: three dogs, four cats, two hermit crabs, and four chickens. We had five chickens until one of the hens let us know she was a rooster and is now living at a new house. Sadie, our textbook ADD & ADHD puppy has visited the hen house on…
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Our adventures with a 17 year-old has come to an end as abruptly as it began. A week that started with the old escape through the window ended with uncovering text messages from mom which provided the address of the AirB&B she had arranged, delivery of food and plans to drive to California to take…
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“How do they find me? How do they always find me?” This is one of my favorite lines from the movie The Producers. I’ve been known to say similar statements; Why does this always happen to me? Why am I stuck here again? I can’t deal with those people! There was a time I thought…
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School has started and there’s a new normal at the hacienda. This time of year is crazy in any household with school age kids, combine three families, 5 kids attending three different schools and crazy can turn to chaos quickly. This is the typical schedule through out the week: 4:30am Megan heads to work two…
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It was one year ago today that I walked out of a Colorado Courthouse hand in hand with my new sidekick. We had prayed for that day and on that afternoon she was coming home with me for safe keeping. It had been 16 years since we had a 16 year-old in our home. But…
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The car pulled up and as the doors begin to open letting its passengers out, I heard her say, “I love our family.” I watched as this newly formed family exited the car. A new mom, a dad, and three blonde beauties ranging from ten month-old to seventeen year-old with smiles that light up the…
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Today we wait patiently and anxiously for a document to be completed. It’s a document that has been four months in the making and contains a life time of history. Decisions will be made on its content. Decisions that will alter the future and past of those it includes. At times, our particular situation is…
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You know those times that it feels as if a dark heavy cloud has fallen around you and nothing makes sense? Goodseems to be losing ground and all the crazies are finding ways to infiltrate every open crevasse? It’s like a thick fog has fallen and clouded everyone’s vision.
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“And now I know you’ve lost your mind!” my friend replied to my text. But I had been looking for my Sadie dog for some time. Even the grandkids knew that Sadie was coming to our house. “Neenee, go get Sadie!” Liam would say. “I’m looking for her,” I’d reply. “She’s coming, she’s just not…
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I spent time imagining what this new living arrangement would be like, being in the same house that our youngest grand daughter would learn to walk in, she’ll go to her first day of kindergarten from this house and some day move out. I’ve tried to picture how having a space like this is going…
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Today I repurposed a Jade plant. It’s most likely the largest succulent plant I have every seen.
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A few too many thing come together when three house holds move to the same space.
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Our hacienda is one long ranch style house. At some point the owner turned a two car garage into more living space which makes it feel extra long. We do a lot of walking in here because if you want to talk to someone on the other end of the house, you either call them…
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I’ve heard it said that waiting for something to happen is sometimes more about how long we feel is necessary rather how long it really takes. I was pondering this idea one morning as I walked through our neighborhood. What if we don’t have to wait two years for our hacienda? What if it could…
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I’ve been saying it for years, Someday, we’re going to have a hacienda…lots of rooms and California style outside living spaces where we can live, dream and create. My great excitement was usually met with blank stares, wrinkled noses and a few rolled eyes. You see, my loving family are more of the dream busters type than the…
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I hate this idea, it’s never going to work. This is only going to give the annoyed the right to be more annoying…
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Do you remember that morning when we were unloading a truck at 6:00 in the morning because there was a thunder storm the night before and after we finished with the truck Brian checked on the trampoline and found it had blown over during the night because of the crazy winds
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A friend of mine commented that our family hacienda adventure should be wonderful since our personalities are very similar. I nodded a blank nod and later as I recalled the conversation I had to chuckle.
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Generational living? That’s an interesting term, I thought. Then it hit me. We are doing the generational living thing…and that makes Jeff and I … the old people!!
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Maybe wrong numbers are really right numbers and miss-information is exactly the information needed.
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I’ve been saying it for years, Someday, we’re going to have a hacienda…lots of rooms and California style outside living spaces where we can live, dream and create.
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I’ve been doing a lot of cherishing this past week. Our little family has had a big dream of creating our very own California Hacienda. A place where each family can live independently on a piece of property that brings us all together. Last week one such property popped up on my computer and we…
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My sisters and I are in complete agreement that when God was handing out the Gift of Mercy, he missed our family completely, at least our generation. If you’re not familiar with the concept of the Gift of Mercy, don’t stress over it. We’re preachers kids and learned all that bible stuff before we…
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I love Malibu. I’ll never forget the first time Jeff and I drove PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) from Pismo to LAX. Entering Malibu from the north end was breath taking. The Pacific on the right and green rolling hills on the left. The hills were dotted with sprawling estates surrounded by majestic palm tree and…
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What grounds you? she asked the small group that had gathered for an evening of reflection. I had to chuckle to myself. The word grounded had surfaced frequently over the past week. Our new grand-parenting life has changed our vocabulary a bit. Questions like, Do you have homework? What time will you be home? Who’s…
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A few months ago Jeff and I were given a gift we never expected. Truth be told, if we had been asked three months ago if we wanted such a gift, we would most likely have laughed.
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I’ve alway wondered about the name A Perfect Storm. We don’t describe anything else in this manner. We don’t say the Perfect Illness or Perfect Plane-crash, but somehow a storm that is likely to cause great devastation is classified as perfect. I saw the movie Perfect Storm and I can still see the giant wall…
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Walking on water are those times in life when we find ourselves being called out into the unknown and we’re pulled between our desire, our fears, and our reality.
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I never had a problem rattling off a list of things I enjoyed doing, projects I loved getting involved with, and topics I loved teaching. Then one day I decided to learn to meditate and everything changed. The first meditation talked all about finding our deepest desire. Deepest Desire? What’s that? I wondered and moments…
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My husband refers to them as those who make a lot of chatter. You know the type. They are those special people in your life who have perfected the fine art of looking busy but never accomplishing much. These so called chatters start out as wonderful people. They are fun. They interact well (cause…they like…
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I love watching kids play. It’s like watching mini adults without all their protective shields. This weekend our three youngest grandchildren were at our house. They may only be one year a part in age but in personalities – they aren’t on the same sphere. Liam, our lego engineer had designed a lego RC (remote…
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My dad used to say this when a soloist was preforming a song for longer than he thought was necessary. With a curious grin and a painful expression, he’d quietly say, “Turn the page, you fat-head.” I’m not sure where this statement originated. Many of his quirky sayings came from the early radio days. “My…
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I’m intrigued with the idea that our emotions can be measured as energy. Laughter, joy, love, are positive energy, while anger, hatred, anxiety are negative. There seems to be an abundance of negative energy these days. We seem to ooze anger, hatred, anxiety, resentment and fear. I recently listened to a series of books written…
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Is it really possible that we can bring things into existence by speaking it? Can we move mountains or walk on water? There are many who say we can’t – Jesus said we can. I believe that we are creative people. In fact, I think that it may just be our creativity that God made…
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We had a kitchen faucet that leaked. It was a slow drip. The only way to stop it was to move the handle slightly to the left when turning it off. We lived with this special faucet for approximately seven years – which was 6 years, 11 months, 3 weeks and 6 days too long,…
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I’ve spent more time on elementary school grounds recently than I have in the past twenty years. It’s one of the benefits of having grandkids living close by. My daughter held tightly to Liam’s hand as they made their way to his room. The door was decorated with Owls, not easy to miss. Emery and…
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Last week I listened to a meditation. Now that sentence doesn’t even make much sense. How can you listen to a meditation? Well, for people like me who find it hard to think about nothing, we must be instructed how to meditate. Apparently organizing the day, planning the menu, and practicing conversations are not what…
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She gives food to her household and an allotted share to her maidens. Proverbs 31:15 I managed a women clothing store for two years. It was an interesting experience to say the least. There was a lot of butt checking, arm wiggling, and tummy tucking. There was a great deal of comments like, “I’d never…
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You know what it’s like when someone tells you not to think about something and all you can do is think about the thing you’re not supposed to be thinking about? Taking my blood pressure is like that for me. For the second time in my life it’s been recommended that I take and record…
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My mom and I share a common trait. It is refer to as white coat syndrome. This is when you go to the doctor and the people in white coats, which really doesn’t exist anymore, takes your blood pressure and everyone get concerned because you are a few seconds away from a stroke or perhaps…
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My mom and I share a common trait. It is refer to as white coat syndrome. This is when you go to the doctor and the people in white coats, which really doesn’t exist anymore, takes your blood pressure and everyone get concerned because you are a few seconds away from a stroke or perhaps…
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I’ve been thinking (and talking) a lot about inner tubes in the past few months. It’s an image that we use in the book Living Unstuck and it’s an image that has etched itself into my brain. The idea of living life as if we are resting on an inner tube and gently floating through…
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I’ve been thinking (and talking) a lot about inner tubes in the past few months. It’s an image that we use in the book Living Unstuck and it’s an image that has etched itself into my brain. The idea of living life as if we are resting on an inner tube and gently floating through…
