I’ve had a ton of self-discovery these past few weeks. Thanks to a book titled Dream Big, I no longer feel like there’s something wrong with me cause I love being involved in a bunch of things at one time.
Thanks to a small book study with five old friends, I feel more connected than I ever have. And in the past week, thanks to a thing called Tapping I’ve discovered (and let go of) a whole lot of anxieties, stressors, and fears.
This has been the most amazing change of all. Why do I feel the need to time how long I am in a store? When did running errors become a sprint? When did talk about crazy, out-laddish ideas become an irresponsible way of thinking? When did new adventures become something to fear with the expectation of horrible things to follow? When did having a full day of activity and things to accomplish become a drain or a curse, and something to avoid?
My personal thorn is feeling like I’ll mess up and someone-somewhere will feel the need to scold me. Holy crap – I’m 59 years old – why do I care if someone isn’t happy, or accepting, or in agreement. I don’t! BUT I have a lifetime of learned reactions and behaviors that know how to react on cue – as I’m discovering them…I’m letting them go.
Last night when I got into bed I told Jeff, “I have to go to sleep cause I can wait to wake up in the morning!” I can’t wait!!
Thanks to my old buddy Robyn, I stumbled into a thing called Epicure. Cooking classes, planning events, selling products, and making videos…and I’m having a blast. Each step of the way opens me to new and deeper self-discovery and awareness. More insecurities, self-perceptions, and anxieties that I just don’t want to tolerate any longer.
As those old learned behaviors rear their ugly faces, I quickly move into position and begin tapping them away. I breath more freely, laugh with a little more delight, dream a little bigger, love a whole lot deeper, and tell myself regularly that this weird feeling isn’t something to worry about…it’s just a thing called contentment and I’ll get used to it eventually.
One Reply to “Content”
Congrats Jeannie, love the path you are on. I’m also on a similar path that has taken me through the writings of the Tao Te Ching and Thich Nhat Hahn as well as others. Contentment has made all the difference. Enough is enough, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. The trick for me is to keep momentum while being content. As the Scottish Tao says: “Contentment without Complacency – aye, there’s the rub in it laddie.” Sounds like you are well on the way to solving that conundrum for yourself!
I love the maybe unintended play on the word Content here. Perhaps we can be content while also being content for others to absorb.