I’ve had a ton of self-discovery these past few weeks. Thanks to a book titled Dream Big, I no longer feel like there’s something wrong with me cause I love being involved in a bunch of things at one time.
Thanks to a small book study with five old friends, I feel more connected than I ever have. And in the past week, thanks to a thing called Tapping I’ve discovered (and let go of) a whole lot of anxieties, stressors, and fears.
This has been the most amazing change of all. Why do I feel the need to time how long I am in a store? When did running errors become a sprint? When did talk about crazy, out-laddish ideas become an irresponsible way of thinking? When did new adventures become something to fear with the expectation of horrible things to follow? When did having a full day of activity and things to accomplish become a drain or a curse, and something to avoid?
My personal thorn is feeling like I’ll mess up and someone-somewhere will feel the need to scold me. Holy crap – I’m 59 years old – why do I care if someone isn’t happy, or accepting, or in agreement. I don’t! BUT I have a lifetime of learned reactions and behaviors that know how to react on cue – as I’m discovering them…I’m letting them go.
Last night when I got into bed I told Jeff, “I have to go to sleep cause I can wait to wake up in the morning!” I can’t wait!!
Thanks to my old buddy Robyn, I stumbled into a thing called Epicure. Cooking classes, planning events, selling products, and making videos…and I’m having a blast. Each step of the way opens me to new and deeper self-discovery and awareness. More insecurities, self-perceptions, and anxieties that I just don’t want to tolerate any longer.
As those old learned behaviors rear their ugly faces, I quickly move into position and begin tapping them away. I breath more freely, laugh with a little more delight, dream a little bigger, love a whole lot deeper, and tell myself regularly that this weird feeling isn’t something to worry about…it’s just a thing called contentment and I’ll get used to it eventually.