Category: Family

I woke early the next morning. Finished packing, made sure Austyn was feeling better and headed out the door. At the corner I grabbed a taxi, which took me to the Blue Line that took me right into O’Hare. Owning a car is not an essential part of life in the city.

The business of the last 24 hours had prevented me from spending too much time thinking about this trip. It wasn’t until I was on the plane that my mind slowed down enough to reflect.

As I boarded the plane I recalled the flight I had made eighteen years earlier. I had boarded a plane in Charlotte, NC for a similar trip. Jeff had accepted a position that brought us to the Chicago area and for some reason I was given the sole responsibility to find a place to live… in one weekend. I had not flown much and was nervous about the flight. I was meeting a realtor and hopefully finding a home for our young family. The housing market between Charlotte, NC and Wheaton, IL was light years apart. Our three bedrooms, 2 and a half bath condo had been purchased for $45,000 only five years earlier. This weekend I would be looking at starter homes at $125,000. Not only were the price tags high but so was the cost of living. We couldn’t afford either, but we were going to give it a shot.

On that flight, I remember sitting next to an older businessman. We had talked briefly during the flight. When I told him that we were moving to the suburbs he paused and then told me not to do it. “The cost of living will kill you”, I remembered him saying.  What would life be like now if we had taken that advice?

I spent the remainder of this flight reflecting on the last eighteen years. By the time the flight landed in Phoenix I was a bit melancholy. I had a fifty minute layover in Phoenix, just enough time to get a bite to eat and board the plan to San Luis Obispo. The last leg of the flight is just over an hour. I had an aisle seat but tried to peer out the window as often as possible.

I took note of the people on the plane. Were they returning to San Luis? Were they visiting? Some were dressed in Western garb, boots, hat, and vest. I was hoping to get a glimpse into the people that call San Luis home. We were about to make the final descent.

After we landed we taxied for a bit. The plane came to a stop and we were still on the tarmac. I hadn’t been at an airport this small since I was in high school. We exited the plane, some passengers were heading into the building, and others were waiting for what I assumed was luggage. I waited as well. Mostly, I was looking around. Airports are rarely in the most beautiful part of cities and this one was surrounded by rolling hills. Jeff had said rural but this is not what I pictured.

After I was informed that the passengers waiting at the plane were waiting for carry on bags, I was directed to go into the airport to wait for luggage. I must have looked like a first time flier, completely lost which I was. Seven hours earlier I had stepped out of my apartment, hailed a cab, rode the Blue Line and made my way through O’Hare airport. Now I was walking into a small brick building in the middle of what looked like no where. Where were we?

I stood in line for the car rental. After completing all the paperwork I inquired as to what we needed to do when we returned the car since our flight was at 6:30am. She told me that we would be leaving the car in Lot 3. Lot 3? This airport is so small that it only has one airplane on the tarmac at any given time yet they have three lots? This was going to be interesting.

The second full week of January would be orientation for Jeff at the new office in San Luis Obispo. He flew out on Sunday with 4 fellow employees. Chicago to San Luis is not an easy flight. Total travel time adds up to around 7 hours. I waited for the first phone call relaying first impressions. It wasn’t until later that evening that Jeff checked in. “It’s small, but it is dark so we haven’t seen much. The hotel is right on the beach, I’ll send you the link and you can look it up.”

Every day was about the same. “This is small town. The people are nice, but it feels very rural.” I was to fly out on Friday. Jeff’s excitement about the company was growing, but his view on the area was not changing.

On Thursday of that week I received a call at work from Austyn, she wasn’t feeling well and from what she was describing I encouraged her to call the doctor. There were several phone calls that morning followed by several text messages.

“I’m at the doctors office, call you when I’m done,” she texted.

“She sent me to the hospital for x-rays, checking for blood clot in my lungs.”

“Finished at registration, going to the lab.”

Raun was on his way to the house to check on Austyn when I called and I asked him to go to the hospital and check on Austyn. The beauty of our neighborhood was that we were two blocks from the hospital. As Raun walked into the entrance of the hospital Austyn was coming out of the elevator. I decided I should probably leave work and head to the hospital too, so I quickly closed down my computer, made a few phone calls to inform people I was leaving, grabbed a taxi and headed there. The emotional rush that happens during these times is immeasurable.

I gave the taxi driver the location of the hospital and began to text Jeff to update him. I could not hold back the tears. The anticipation of leaving the next morning for California was already great, the fear and anxiety of heading to the hospital was over the top. I glanced at the rearview mirror a few times to catch the driver looking back at me. Taxi drivers must see everything in the course of their day.

I arrived at the hospital and made my way to X-ray. Raun was sitting alone. Austyn had been taken in. We sat and talked while we waited. Austyn returned in about a half hour and had been instructed to wait. She recapped the afternoon for me. It did not take long to realize that she was exhausted.

The technician come out and informed us that the x-rays had been looked at and everything was fine, nothing to worry about. We should go home and Austyn’s doctor would be giving us a call.

We walked home, had some comfort food, got cozy and put in a movie. The three of us just rested and enjoyed being together. It wasn’t until 9:00pm that evening, after Raun had left and Austyn gone to bed that I began packing for my trip. I needed to be out of the house by 7am and I hadn’t done anything to prepare.

As I was cleaning the kitchen I was rethinking our conversation. Imagining Raun with three children, realizing that if this relationship grew Jeff and I would be grandparents. This year was already quit full; why not add another major change, instant grandparents. Then it hit me, Jeff a grandpa. I began to laugh.

Jeff and I are very different when it comes to children. I am intrigued by their interaction. Jeff is known in our family for one very profound statement. “Disney without crying children and strollers, now that would truly be a magic kingdom.” He has been very vocal to Raun and Austyn about waiting to have children. “No babies, at least for a couple years.”

For several generations on the Bruenning side of the family, the first child (which has consistently been a boy) has been born to a father of the ripe old age of 20. Great Grandpa was 20 when grandpa was born. Grandpa was 20 when Jeff was born. Jeff was 20 when Raun was born. Since Raun was a teenager he has been instructed to break the curse. “No babies”. I began to count backwards. The oldest of these three children was born when Raun was 20. The curse would be in tacked.

I walked into the bedroom to inform Jeff of all my new discoveries, it was difficult to keep a straight face; he could be an instant grandpa, Raun would have been 20 when Breanna was born, and so on. Trying not to break a smile he swore at me. We both laughed, standing there looking at each other shacking our heads. This was no where in our plans.

An hour later he buzzed. We had established a super secret family buzz to enter the main door of our condo; two quick buzzes and we know it’s one of us. Two quick buzzes and the dog quickly makes her way to the door, she also knows it must be one of us. A few moments later and there were three lovely children walking into living room.

Introductions were made. Brianna was the oldest, Sage next and finally Chase. Big eyes, beautiful smiles and they were holding onto Raun for dear life. He was their protection.

After a few moments I took Chases hand and we began to explore the apartments. He was inquisitive; pointing to things, asking questions. We made our way to the porch to look for stars and airplanes. As we left the living room I heard Raun say to Pam “I thought he didn’t like anyone”. The girls followed shortly. Everyone was making their selves at home.

Austyn’s room was the last to explore. Austyn’s room is worth exploring; photos everywhere, two computers, boxes of wedding stuff and a 4 foot brown teddy bear that is slumped in the corner taking it all in.

Pam, Raun and I made our way back to the kitchen. Jeff and Austyn were doing just fine entertaining the troupes in her room. Jeff is actually great with kids. He has a great sense of humor that makes kids think. I’ve always thought it was his way of finding the most imaginative ones, those are the ones he most enjoys interacting with. He and Sage were well into the game of “I’m thinking of a color”.

The evening ended a short time later. Coats, hats, kiss the dog and out the door. I walked them down the three flights of stairs, hailed a taxi while Raun retrieved their things from the car. The taxi door shut and we waved goodbye. I was suddenly met with an interesting thought; I may have just met my grandchildren.

Raun had been spending more time in Wisconsin. Driving up on the weekends and since his winter break started Thanksgiving and ended after New Years he had time. Raun enjoyed going to visit his grandparents and get in a little fishing. For the last five years he had truly learned to enjoy the quietness of fishing. Unless fishing was on the schedule, making trips to Wisconsin was not top on the list of “fun things to do”. There was something or someone in Wisconsin that had a new draw.

Raun and Pam had definitely reconnected. We knew Pam from Raun’s high school years. They were both very active in our church youth group. Raun had spent New Years with her in Wisconsin and they drove to Chicago to spend the weekend.

Pam was also coming out of a very long relationship which left her with three beautiful children aging from 7 to 21/2. Jeff and I were filled with questions and concerns. School, financial stability, responsibility; this was not a two person relationship. It was much more complicated than that.

Austyn received a text from Raun on Saturday asking if she wanted to meet them at the zoo. It was the first we had known that Pam and her three children were here in Chicago.

I called Raun on Sunday afternoon to see how the visit had gone and was informed that they were all still there but getting ready to leave and he would call me back. I asked what his dinner plans were and invited him to stop by so we could talk. An hour later he was sitting in our kitchen and he was glowing.

Several years ago after Raun’s very first serious breakup, Jeff and I were very clear with him that we would never stop asking the tough questions and we would always support his decisions. We had watched too many family members struggle in bad relationships knowing very well that everyone around was too scared to asked questions. We were committed not to see that happen with our own children. Relationships are complicated and too many times parents flippantly give opinions that cause riffs in the relationship. We wanted to be able to challenge their thought process but never ever let them think that we would not support their decisions.

As Raun sat in the kitchen he was ready to talk. Every question we asked he was able to answer not only with his point of view but repeated the conversations he and Pam had already had on the subject. School would still be a priority. Pam was an RN; she understood the importance of education. She was willing to go where Raun needed for his masters. He was not only falling for Pam but the children had already won his heart. “They could be my kids”. This was the most surprising of all. Raun had never shown any interest in children. It wasn’t a like or a dislike, it just wasn’t. To hear him talk about these three precious children was an entirely new experience. We ate and talked for about an hour. There were parts of Raun that had come alive. He referred to how Jeff and I had parented and how he now understood why we did things the way we did. This was a conversation on a whole new level. Raun was experiencing adulthood from a new angle and he was enjoying it.

We were interrupted by the phone, it was Pam. She and the kids had been in an accident, everyone was fine but the car was not drivable. She had missed the entrance to the Kennedy and was somewhere on the far west side of Chicago, not exactly the best part of town especially for a mom and three children. Raun grabbed the keys to the car and took off.

Austyn had flown to Colorado prior to Christmas to spend time with Brian and his family. They flew into Chicago on Christmas day. Raun had spent a few days in Wisconsin visiting Pam, a friend from high school that he had reconnected with but was home Christmas Eve.

Most of our family is still in Wisconsin. Looking ahead we realized that our trips back to Wisconsin would be few and far between. We took a few days to drive up and make the rounds. It may be the last time we would all be there for a while. We would spend the first night with Jeff’s parents and the next day with my mom. My father had passed away in June of that year so this was Mom’s first holiday alone.

Jeff’s sister and her family joined us the first night. My father-in-law has set up a small meeting area in his garage. Table, chairs, refrigerator, wood burning stove are all surrounded by his fishing equipment. This small room has been named The Safety Building. Evenings in the Safety Building are full of conversation, laughter, joking, a fire and really bad Wisconsin food and beverage. All elements were in line this night. Raun had informed us that his friend Pam was going to join us later. Hmmmmm, we couldn’t help but wonder if this was more than reconnecting with an old friend.

The next morning I forced Austyn to sit with me at the dining room table and fill in our 2008 Calendar. January was filled with preparation; designing the wedding invitation, food for the reception, plans for the receptions in Colorado and Chicago. What about family and friends in Wisconsin? That list is potentially larger than the Chicago group. Why not, let’s have three.

February included some final decision making. Not only details about the wedding but the condo needed to go on the market by March 1. This would require completing any house projects to be completed in February.

In March the house would be listed, two months of For Sale by Owner before we contracted a realtor. There is a 5^th member of the family. She is a 4 year old, 70 pound Lab Golden Retriever mix. Any time the house would be shown we would have to be there to remove the dog. In addition we still had Austyn living there and she was acquiring wedding gifts, items for her new apartment along with all of her photography equipment. No realtor would walk into our place and not say we would have to get rid of stuff, which was not an option until she moved in May.

Mid April Austyn was officially done with classes.

May 3 Brian graduates and May 4 Austyn graduates. Up until that moment I had not considered Raun’s graduation in June. We didn’t have one college graduation in ’08 we had three; son, daughter and soon to be son in law. Austyn would plan to move just after graduation and if the condo had not sold we would list with a realtor.

June was Raun’s graduation and THE WEDDING. July would include the receptions, yet to be determined. Somewhere in there could and would include a move cross country which also includes finding a new home and purchasing all the essentials life required when one moves out of the city. We are true city people. At that point in our life we didn’t own a car. The bus, train and taxi’s are our form of transportation. We were faced with a move to an area that requires automobiles. We will need to purchase them.

Three college graduations, a wedding, a daughter moving to Colorado, a son looking for a school to obtain his masters and a move cross country. All events that should be experience one at a time and we find ourselves facing them in 6 short months.

There will be great challenges with this year. You see, I love to be organized but I can’t plan this one. I can’t even estimate it. Everything depends on something else. I can only make each day count. Sometimes the effort to not get overwhelmed is harder than allowing you to get overwhelmed. The calendar is full, what else could possibly fit. I want to write in SLEEP from July to December. Can we fit anything else into the mix? Time will tell, but Raun seems to be falling fast and this new relationship is moving at light speed.

Austyn had finished filling in all the dates we were aware of. We made a general ‘to do list’ for each month and closed the calendar. I couldn’t help but feel that what we had just written down was simply a guideline. Only God knows what this year will look like. Only He can see where we are going and I am unable to control it. I will have to muster up all the faith I have to walk through each day and not run to the finish end.

This year could make a great book!

The following week Jeff was actually not at the office, he was opening a store so had very little face to face interaction with the leaders of the new company. He was dependent on phone conversations with co-workers filling him in on their take of the situation. Reviews were mixed. Jeff flew home on Thursday night. He was back out the door at 5:30am heading for the office. There was only a small window of time allowed since flights back to California were scheduled for that afternoon. The offer time line was simple. Two week and everyone would have their offers.

We spent time on the Internet looking at real estate in Nashville. Great prices compared to what we saw in Chicago. Jeff did not like the idea of Nashville. He was not excited at all to make the move. During the discussions about relocating, Nashville had been the only option.

The process took much longer than expected. Thanksgiving came and went with no offers. The week before Christmas the actual offer to purchase the company was solidified. Next would be the offers. Wednesday morning phone calls came. I was meeting some friends and had plans to be at Jeff’s office around 3:00. I glanced at my phone around 12:30, 7 messages from Jeff. I called him back immediately. “They want me in California” was all I heard.

San Luis Obispo, CA, I couldn’t pronounce it. We were in shock. There were moments during the next 4 days that we would look at each other, one would laugh and the other shake their head. I woke up in the middle of the night practicing my pronunciation. After much thought and a few conversations to the west coast, Jeff accepted the offer.

My great idea for having a family vacation in October at a beach was now obsolete. If we ended up in San Luis Obispo, the family vacation would simply be coming to our house on the coast. Neither of us had ever imagined living on the west coast. It wasn’t a dream. It was nowhere on our radar. This was new territory.

2008 was filling up quickly, a graduation, a wedding and now a total change of life. California bound sometime in 2008.