Category: Family

Sometime in the afternoon on Tuesday, June 24^th had ended. As planned we were left on the island for three more days to recover. The beach, good food, more beach and naps. We spent time with family member who had also planned to spend the week. Taking walks, searching for sand dollars, sitting on our little beach chairs deep in discussion not realizing the tide was coming in and being swept over by the first big wave. It was a wonderful end to a wonder week.

Friday finally came and we were faced with the long ride home. Much less stuff came home with us, beverages had been consumed, gifts had been given and decorations thrown away. Our only mistake was to think we could make the long journey home as we had made it just one week ago. We were driving through Indiana around midnight when we stopped for gas. I realized that it seem much more windy than normal for this part of the country. The talk in the gas station surrounded the tornadoes that were all around us. Should we stop? I asked. No one else seem to fell the pressure to do so. As we got back on the highway I asked ‘what does a tornado look like at night? How do you know it’s coming?’ The response convinced me that I wasn’t the only one concerned with our current situation. However, we pushed on and made it safely through the wind and the rain and the wind and more rain until we reach the Illinois border. It was 3:00 in the morning when we arrived home. Clearly we did not have the energy or the excitement we had just one week ago. The van would stay packed. We made our way down Clark Street passed Jake which had already closed and down, around the corner down Oakdale to our building. In less than a month we would be packing up a much bigger van with all our belonging and heading to the west coast this time, not for a week, not for a wedding but for life.

Tuesday arrived. Breakfast at our house for anyone that wanted to join us. Renee was off to Walmart for those last minute purchases. Decorations were taking to the house where the reception was being held. Of coarse there was time built in to be at the beach.

As Jeff and I left the decorated reception area to make our way to the beach we both paused as we noticed Austyn kneeling on the ground in her swim top and shorts painting the word WEDDING on a piece of drift wood she had found earlier that morning. The board was naturally shaped on one end as if it were an arrow. Austyn has always found a way to make sure the details are done creatively and what Austyn thinks are important details no one else would ever think of. We laughed to ourselves as we realized how “Austyn” this day was. Our only daughter was getting married today and we were making our way to the beach to relax for a few hours before the ceremony. Sometime in the afternoon was feeling just fine.

It was finally time to get ready. We showered, dressed and checked in on Renee’. All seemed to be going well. Austyn, her cousin Carolyn, Pam and I made our way to the home where the reception was being held to get Austyn ready. Nails, hair, jewelry and the dress, she was beautiful. We were ready to make our way down the stairs when the thought crossed Austyn’s mind that she should go to the bathroom. When Austyn was little we called her the Potty Princess. It seemed as if she never had any warning that she needed to go to the bathroom. When she announced she had to go…she had to go. This seemed to always happen in the car. We would all laugh, announce to each other that the Potty Princess needed to go and the next restroom was the best. As the five of us looked at each other, Derk was in the room as well, we headed to the bathroom, each took a corner of the dress, lifted it up and Austyn sat down and Derk snapped the picture.

As I made my way out of the bedroom I realized that most of the family were still downstairs and not at the beach as earlier directed. “We are ready, please make your way to the beach”. As if they had been taken by surprise, they left the house and were on their way. The home we were using was a short walk to the beach, most likely under a half mile. A short beach walk that is but a very long isle walk in comparison to a church. The only ones left at the house were Austyn, Jeff and Derk. Jeff and Austyn began their walk. They talked and laughed, each time I glanced back to see where they were they were both wiping their eyes. That walk was the best part of the wedding for Jeff. His advise to every father facing that same walk; make it as long as possible, walk around the block if you have to.

Down the road, over the steps that crossed the small dunes and onto the beach. Austyn was barefoot and Jeff removed his sandals once on the sand. The family had gathered in a circle facing the water. Austyn and Brian would stand with their backs to the water and Matt, the minister would stand in the center of the circle. As we witnessed the ceremony the ocean was the backdrop. It was an amazing sight. As Austyn had planned it made the best pictures.

Brian cried as Austyn and Jeff walked toward him and that is all it took. We all cried with him. Vows, tears, a maid of honor who was a man and Austyn’s smile that said it all. This was right, this was good and this day was everything she had hoped for.

As the ceremony ended, Austyn and Brian walked down the beach. We made our way back up the hill and began to party. Music, dancing, drinks, amazing food, pictures, laughing and a beautiful sunset. For the father daughter dance Austyn had planned a surprise for Jeff. In October of the previous year, Jeff had agreed to do a recording for me. One of the songs on the CD was a lullaby that he sang to Austyn when she was a little girl. This was the song she had chosen to dance to. More tears, more laughter and a bit more perfection.

As we ended the evening, Brian and Austyn made their way back to change clothes and and leave the island. One more time we found ourselves saying good bye, this time it was to Mrs. Brian Ford.

With the wedding scheduled for sometime in the afternoon on Tuesday, we had given ourselves Sunday and Monday to play and prepare. Most of the family were arriving Sunday. After a day at the beach, we had invited everyone to our home for dinner and a movie. Buffalo Wings are one of our favorite things to eat when we are together, so we planned a wings night. Wings, fries, veggies and drinks. Those family members who were already settled in arrived early. Other who were just arriving to the island came over before they settled in. Introductions, greetings, a ton of conversations and enough wings to feed an army, all in all it was a great night.

Monday was day two at the beach. There were a few favors to be made and a few reception preparations that needed to be started, but we left plenty of time for sun and sand. Monday evening was another party. Brian’s parents had invited everyone to their home for BBQ. One more night of laughter, conversation, great food and fun. Austyn is a photographer, so choosing her photographer for the wedding was a major decision. It just so happened that her professor and head of the photography department was willing to make the trip. Derk arrived on Monday and was at our Monday evening celebration. By the end of the evening he looked a bit puzzled. “I’ve taken more great pictures in one night than I usually get for an entire event.” The wedding was still ahead of us.

Brian and Austyn returned to Chicago on Thursday. We were to pick up the rental van Friday at noon, load and take off for what we had hoped was a 16 hour road trip to Holden Beach NC. The home we had rented were fully furnished but there was plenty of extra cooking equipment and supplies needed. There were a few things we felt we could leave to chance. In a small beach town where Walmart is the main means of supplies and the nearest Walmart is 20 minutes away, you do have to anticipate not being able to gather all your supplies in one place.

Adult beverages were another consideration. Brain and Austyn had chosen a wine called Fat Bastered as their wedding wine. They both claim that they love the taste, I think the name may have helped their decision making. As the mother of the bride I chose a Ginger Vodka as my beverage choice for the weekend. After searching most of the liquor stores in Chicago, we found my favorite band. The company had changed the bottling and in doing so raised the price about $10 per bottle. This particular store was selling through the old bottle at almost half the price. Needless to say the van was loaded with several cases of alcohol.

We were loaded and with very little room to spare. Our chief and close friend of the family was 5 months pregnant at the time. As Renee’ and I settled into our seat a few of those last minute items were loaded. When all was complete, Renee and I found ourself talking to each other through the Orchids which were purchased at the corner flower shop in our neighborhood. Wedding dress lay across the back of the van. We were on our way.

We had planned to meet up with two other parties in Indianapolis. Erin and Rachael, Austyn’s long time friends, were driving down to spend the week with us and Nikki and Matt were joining Brian and Austyn in the Jeep. We pulled into a Starbucks parking lot on the north side of Indianapolis around 11:15pm. In what should have been a “load um up and let’s get going” became a meet and greet time. Almost one hour later we were back on the road.

Breakfast was at McDonald’s in Charleston, West Virgina. Every stop seemed as if it took longer than the last. A quick bathroom break could turn into a 45min luncheon. Pam and Raun had flown into Charlotte the day before in order for Raun to show Pam some of his favorite childhood memories. They arrived to the island well before we did. Raun called me that morning. “I can see why Austyn wants to get married here. We just drove over the bridge, it’s beautiful.”

There is only one bridge that takes you to Holden Beach. As you approach the bridge you are in the midst of a typical small souther beach area. Little wooden shakes that are favorite hang outs, a few surf shops, a huge outdoor ice machine that appears to have sufficient ice supple to fill a dump truck. The bridge is a high, long winding bridge. It is not until you are at the half way point that you can see the island. A long narrow beach lined with large beach homes. There are just a few restaurants but very little commerce on the beach itself. We were still hours away from the bridge.

It was around 3:30pm when we arrived. Our over night trip had turned into an almost 24 hour trip. We were thrilled as we walked through our rental home, it was perfect. We unloaded, had a quick bit to eat and headed to the beach to look around.

 

My Mom and I arrived in Chicago, made our way to the El. We boarded the Orange Line and settle in for our ride to the north side. We were rested but still tired. Mom would be with us for two nights before she got back on the train for home.

It was Saturday afternoon, we were sitting at the dining room table finishing up some work. I had brewed some loose leaf Ginko and Ginseng green tea earlier that day and been drinking it iced through out the afternoon.

Jeff was in the living room watching the moving There Will Be Blood. I have found that there are movies that should never be listened to. What I mean is they need to be watched because the soundtrack is very disturbing. Several years ago we had taken a long weekend with friends in the Smoky mountains. Sitting on the screened in porch of the house we were staying at, the men had put in Terminator and the women were sitting at a table doing a jig saw puzzle. Unable to see the TV screen we were left with hearing the soundtrack. There were several scenes in which the soundtrack became extremely intense. The volume also seemed to increased tremendously. Thinking that our husbands were aware of how loud it had become we glanced over at them only to find their eyes glued to the set, completely unaware of how the soundtrack was playing a major part in their captivation. There Will Be Blood had some of those same moments.

At one point I stood up from the table and headed to the kitchen. I was tense, bothered by the noise from the other room and clearly overdosed on the green tea. As I stepped inside the kitchen door the back door leading to the porch was to my left. On the counter to my right sat a set of kitchen knives. As I looked at the back door I was overcome with a sense of fear. “If you go out there you will jump off the porch” was what I heard in my head. As I turned to look the other way my eyes stopped at the knives; “If you pick those up you will cut yourself”. I could not breath. Fear fulled every part of me. I did not want to say anything to Jeff or my mom, it scared the shit out of me, what would it do to them? Not knowing what to do I excused myself and made my way to the bedroom and laid down.

This was the beginning of several months of panic attaches. In all my effort not to rush through the year, to feel the emotions of each major change that was occurring, I had not taken into account the emotional and physical effects of so many life changing events happening so close together. I had also not allowed myself to feel the fear that was obvious boiling inside of me of the pending move ahead of us. The fear of being so far away, alone in a strange place, disconnected from the world I knew. Without realizing it, I was beginning to feel trapped.

 

Austyn was settled in her new little place. She and Brian were experiencing living in the same city for more than a weekend. I had made plane reservation for my mother and I to fly out in order to finish up the last of the reception invites as well as taking care of a few details for the wedding.

Mom and I arrived at the Denver airport with little problem. Austyn met us and we headed out to the parking lot. Brian and Austyn had purchased a older jeep Cherokee in preparation for their excursion north to Alaska. Our family is not known for their mechanical abilities so purchasing older automobiles has added risk. Helpless to fix them ourselves, we are reliant on a shop to do so. This is not the case for Brian, I guess if you can fix an airplane, autos don’t scare you.

As we walked out I was eying the vehicles wondering which was theirs. With great excitement, Austyn introduced us to Ruff. Ruff was a green, 1999 vehicle. Obvious worn and used. This was going to take them to Alaska? A ten day trip though who knows where. I had a flashback of my dad, eyes closed shaking his head in unbelief anytime we shared with him our hair brain ideas.

We arrived at her condo, it was full of boxes. Gifts had been arriving, Austyn had not totally unpacked, Brian was beginning to bring his things over and items were being set aside that needed to be taken to the wedding. Austyn is a photographer which requires computers, printers and work spaces larger than normal. All to say their little condo was already overflowing.

The week was filled with walks to the cafe’ in the morning for coffee, lattes, fresh cinnamon rolls and mini quiches that were to die for.

Austyn’s future Mother-in-Law treated us to an old fashion tea party served in the elegance of a historical bed and breakfast. Dress up clothes were provided and we did. Fake fur collars, hats with netting, jewelry and gloves were all part of the festivities. An afternoon with the ladies was enjoyed by all.

The purpose of the week was to send out the invitations for the reception planned in Wisconsin and Colorado. Grandma did her share in the addressing because of her lovely penmanship. Stamps were sought out. The stamp selection in the spring of 2008 left a lot to be desired. The love stamps were pink hearts, nice but no at all reflective of Austyn. There were a few others, old boat, tropical fruit but nothing that seemed to fit. When you have spent time designing an invitation, selecting the right color for the envelope and matching the ink color of the pen, the stamp suddenly takes on a new importance. We finally decided on the retro stamp of old blue eye himself, Frank Sinatra.

The week flew by and it was time to return home. One more time to say good bye. The next time we would be together would be in Chicago as we loaded the vehicles that would be making the 18 hour road trip to Holden Beach, NC. One would have thought that with as many times as we had said good bye in this last year, it would be easy…it wasn’t.