My husband refers to them as those who make a lot of chatter. You know the type. They are those special people in your life who have perfected the fine art of looking busy but never accomplishing much.
These so called chatters start out as wonderful people. They are fun. They interact well (cause…they like to chatter…). They are creative, smart, and successful. There’s really no way to knowing that one day they will show up with a tool box and logs and start building a damn right in the center of your life.
I used to think I was a magnet for these individual. “How do they find me?” I’ve said as frustration and resentment began to boil. “What am I doing wrong?” Finally with arms flailing in the air, I shout the truth, “They don’t respect me!”
BINGO!! That’s the bottom line. Respect.
There’s no need for a formula to figure out if someone doesn’t respect what you do or who you are. Somehow, you just know.
There have been times I’ve figured it out in the early day of damn construction. But there have also been times that the damn was so far along that my entire life came to a slow drip.
How do they find me? And when they do, What do I do about it?
Here’s my new solution. Welcome everyone one in equally. Have fun, enjoy their company, get to know them. BUT as soon as you feel the slightest inkling that there is a respect issue – switch gears – because those are people you have to manage. You have to show up with your own tool box and build boundaries before they start designing their damn.
For everyone else in your life – play! Have fun, create new stuff, and grow together. This is where you spend your time and energy.
These are the relationships you build upon.