I’ve always been embarrassed when ask if I’m a Christian. Growing up a preacher’s kid had a bit of a stigma. I found out recently it is said that guys always wanted the preachers daughter – I’m glad I didn’t know that back then. It also doesn’t help that some Christians feel the need to use the media to preach fear and judgment instead of grace and love, I’ve never wanted be associated with them in any way.
In January of last year, I was forced to leave the only career I was ever passionate about due to a bizarre allergy – it didn’t destroy me. At the end of April we lost contact with Raun, our oldest son – it didn’t devastate me. On November 6th when Emery Rain Ford came into the world 15 weeks early and I watched as my daughter was forced to make life decision for my granddaughter – I wasn’t distraught. On Sunday, January 9th when I received a call from Raun informing me that his wife had been arrested that morning for Domestic Violence – I didn’t lose hope.
This past year I’ve become more and more trusting of this God I claim to know. He is the same God I believe created the universe and the same God who knows what tomorrow holds; who has promised to be there through it all. This God has proven Himself to me over and over throughout my life and this past year I realized that I either believe or I don’t. I either finally decide that I’m all in or I’m not. I am either one of those people who continually ask God to show Himself in tough situation or I’m the one who believes He is in control even when I don’t see it. Last year I moved from one of those people who says, “I need to know You are there,” to the person who boldly says, “I KNOW!”
I am still hesitate when someone asks me if I’m a Christian. Ask me if I’m a Believer and I’ll reply boldly, “Yes!” Ask me why and I could give you a thousand reasons, but I’ll simply say, “I KNOW.”