The Fourth Major Stress Factor

They say there are four major stress factors in our lives; marriage, new job, moving and death. Up to this point we had three of the four. Austyn took care of the marriage part. The new job had already started for Jeff and moving was inevitable. As a fellow employee said so reassuringly; “Knock on wood that you won’t experience the fourth.”

At 5:45am on the Monday before Easter my phone rang. By the tone I knew it was Raun. I answered as most moms would at that time of day, “What’s wrong”.

“Mom I can’t believe it. Pam just left for her mom’s. The kid’s father was killed early this morning.” Raun and Pam were now living together in Wisconsin. She and her ex were beginning a custody battle. He was currently living in Indianapolis with his new wife. He had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a senseless robbery/murder.

Arrangements, funeral and a thousand questions. How would Pam cope with this. One day she is preparing for a custody battle with this man. The next morning she is on her way to Indianapolis to help with his funeral arrangements.

No one is sure how they will respond to the death. When someone is ill there is time to prepare for the end. This was a young man with three beautiful children who just happened to be in the wrong place and lost his life for a meaningless robbery. A thousand questions and a million emotions flooded everyone. It was a very unsettling time.

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